I'm writing this post out of sheer disappointment and anger. I know it's a new year, new you, yada, yada, yada. Ok. Here's the situation: my parents went away on a week's vacation. Oh, flashback, sorry. The real situation is this: I asked the kids to clean up their messes in the keeping room. There was a huge pile of toys that had been dumped out of a basket (they had the bright idea to use a woven basket for a sled in the snow), and the toys needed to go back in the basket. On the other side of the room was another basket that had been emptied (for another sled--damn kids), and there was a mess there. My instruction was for them to clean up the mess. The 9yo says, "Mom, Triston actually didn't dump this out. I made the mess on my own." Wow! So I say, " Way to take up for your brother. Thank you! No worries, just clean it up, please sir." Good parenting skills: check. Then, Triston says, "Mom, Braedon actually dumped everything out of this basket too. He dumped all of my stuff out." SERIOUSLY???? ARE YOU BLANKEDY BLANKEDY KIDDING ME????!!! Somewhere that parenting went from good to bad real quick. Where did I go wrong? How did I raise a child that was so selfish, even after seeing what selflessness looked like? I went Samuel L. Jackson on him with the quickness--showed my age on that one. Did he have the audacity to throw his brother under the bus, after his brother just saved his ars??? I was baffled. Could not believe it. I got down on his level, looked him square in those Puss 'N Boots eyes of his, and I told him how he should feel awful, how disappointed and surprised I was, how he should be ashamed for not having his brother's back, how family is supposed to take care of each other, and hasn't he learned anything about covering and reciprocity in his long 7 years on this earth???!! Well hasn't he!!!?? Sorry, I went back to the moment for a minute. I tore into him like a rabid dog on a poor little defenseless rabbit in sub zero temps. By the time I finished with him, you could have gone swimming in his face there were so many tears. Here's the thing: it was so easy for him. I mean, he was quick to tell on his brother--didn't even have to think about it. It got me to thinking how truly easy it is for us to be jerks. We get cut off in traffic, we immediately give someone the finger. A waiter makes a mistake on the order, we fly off the handle and ask for the manager. We turn into jerks real quick, and quite frankly, most of us aren't jerks. We're great people. But we allow others to turn us into things we aren't, we allow other people or circumstances to cause us to act of character. Now, some of you are jerks. I'm not talking to you. But to those of you who aren't, and who act like it more often than you should, hear me clearly. Stop allowing others to control you, to take you out of your wheelhouse, to make you something you're not. You were created by the most awesome being in the universe, so no need to be anxious or worry, or punish others unnecessarily. When life happens to you, take a second, breathe and think about the other person, examine the circumstance. Then act. In your true character. Don't be a jerk. By the way, I took T aside afterward, told him I loved him and how proud I am of him, but that his behavior was unacceptable. I reminded him of our values, and that it's family first. (After discipline, I always tell them I love them, yada, yada). I hugged him and he's good, but something tells me he's gonna do a better job of looking after his brothers from now on. Or at least for the next week. He's only 7, for God's sake.
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